Tuesday, April 9, 2013

H : HILLBILLY-PUNK

     Since the -punk genre is so popular right now, I decided to create my own. I offer you here: Hillbilly-punk.

                    HILLBILLY PUNK
     Bucky hated the city. He was getting pert near tired of people making fun of his accent. Heck, he had a college education! Yet everywhere he went, he was ridiculed and treated like he was sub-human.
     His children fared no better. They were all bullied mercilessly. And his wife complained about being called white trash.
     Everyday it festered inside him and he grew meaner. One day, he realized that things were never going to get better, so he decided to have a little fun with it.
     He gathered his family together: his wife, 5 children, and his crochety old mother-in-law, dang her hide. He laid out his plan, and over a weekend changes were made. They loaded up all their store bought fineries, and made a quick trip home to the mountains. They returned in his daddy's old farm truck with the kids and a couple of dogs riding in the back with a load of stuff.
     Come Monday, those city folk were quite shocked to find real hillbillies living in their midst.
     Each and every one of them sported overalls and a flannel shirt. Bucky let his hair grow and grew a healthy looking beard. When he was feeling exceptionally spiffy, he wore a battered straw hat.
     His wife hung flour sack curtains in the windows. She unpacked her granny's old tin plates, with Mason jars to drink from. They all sure enjoyed their daily fare of beans, taters, and cornbread.
     Bucky got enterprising and tore out all the electric appliances. With no electricity, they used candles and oil lamps, and he put in a woodburning cookstove. When they wanted hot water, they heated it on the stove. He tore up the yard to make a mighty fine garden. And directed his wife to wash clothes in a washtub on the porch using a scrub board, and to hang it to dry on a clothesline in the yard.
     They had fun devising ways to non-conform. They played up their heritage, and exagerated their accents. They sat on the porch of an evening greeting their neighbors as they passed.
     At first, it scared those fine citizens, always worried about their property value. But then they got used to it, and began responding. Soon they were downright jealous of Bucky for living off the grid and being green.
     Imagine Bucky's surprise to find his neighbors falling off the consumer bandwagon and following along right behind them.
     Their name was Jones, after all.
               THE END.
          -- Shayla Kwiatkowski, 2013
              

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for the laugh today! Have fun with A to Z.

    Jenny at Choice City Native

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very nice. I enjoyed this.

    ReplyDelete

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